Kids turning Mentors!

The moment everything and everyone in my house went silent, I realized that sometimes silence can treat you more awfully than most of the awful situations or things in this world. I had just admonished my 4 years young little daughter. The reason that used my voice muscles to its maximum capacity was that my little girl was adamant on a dress that she wanted to put on but which was not getting my approval. Finally, few moments later (that lasted for good 15-20 minutes, but looked insanely few!) my patience left me and anger took over in highest possible decibel allowed to human. I realized I have not spoken to anyone at that level at home or outside or shall I say don’t have the courage to do so? My little daughter gave most usual reaction (crying, of-course!) and went inside her room or away from me. Everyone was silent as if they know this is high time I should be left on my own.

Every time I raise my decibels against my little daughter, I realized, almost instantly, my blunder. For few days, I start feeling sad for my daughter who has no one to go to when I get angry. I believe sometimes kids don’t even know why they are being scolded by their parents. My daughter has a very cute little innocent face (I bet every father thinks this way for their daughters) and my few moments of losing control over myself ruin the innocence on her face which keeps on haunting me for few days.

Every time I do that, I realize that I have become even more coward. Coward because I do not use this high decibel behavior in my day-to-day life not even in office. While introspecting, I realized that this happens because somewhere inside we all know that our kids (at such young age) do not retaliate and our argument (however wrong it is) stands validated. The kids are not coming back at you or rebut you. We, as elders, take this liberty and lash out our anger on them in a way no one (including our-self) had have witnessed. And this, I think is cowardice nature. I know (or at-least I realize) that there is every probability that I receive back the stuff same way and at same decibels I throw at others and that has prevented me from taking my anger out on some one else. And this, I think is cowardice nature.

The kids are amazing. They get the scolding, they get upset and few hours later, they get normal. The few hours I am talking about is because the kids are very good judge of your mood. They, very precisely, know when to approach and when to avoid. I have never raised my hands against my daughter but lashing my anger on my daughter has always made me realize about my wimping nature. When I realized this lack of ability of control of anger on my daughter, I started working upon it. It was very difficult to control things initially so while I was working upon controlling, I started talking and apologizing to my daughter every time I get angry. I made it a point to make the first move so that my daughter should know that I am still the same dad. We started talking about the message that I really wanted her to get but that gets lost somewhere in a fit of rage. Slowly but surely, I am learning the way to control my outbursts in front of my daughter and going by the progress I have over last few months, I think I will be able to get hold of entirely by her 6th birthday which is 5 months away.

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Posted by on September 4, 2019 in Uncategorized


The Civilian Terrorism

It was few days now that one of my friends showed up. I always knew him as one happy-go-lucky and an outgoing person. Since his absence from my routine life was some where bothering me so I went straight to him at his home and tried to enquire about the same. What came out was a complete shocker for me. He confessed, because of some people, he has started feeling dominated in his social circle that he had decided to live it all in himself now. He gave away his social life entirely to escape the un-intentional dominations and harassment by people around him. He even started getting hallucinations about them.


One of my closest buddies got placed in Top ranked Financial Institution beating all his peers in his college which was No. 1 Engineering College in India. He survived the cut throat competition in placements, he joined his dream company with a package never-dreamed-of in a city, thousands of miles away from home, entire world want to be in. But then happened what he or I never dreamed of. He went into shell, started staying at home more and more, and kept his bags packed always despite of the fact that he was provided two- bedroom suite by the company in posh locality. He wanted to come back to his home. He wanted to do anything but to go in that company again or to live in that city any more. His dreamed were dashed at once. His parents were worried as he refused to say anything. Finally, he gave in to my irritating yet effective perseverance when he confessed that he got scared of the people around him. According to him, he was getting dominated by the people who try to get under his skin all the time. He is scared of even interacting with them. He felt terrorised. He was not able to perform in a natural way and hampered his own performance at professional level. According to him, he has hit his own credibility to the bottom. Today, he is doing his dream job like a liability.


Last month, I met a boy, 28, who lived near the most disputed international border of India and Pakistan. We gelled along nicely and I found him quite an intellectual and exciting personality who is young and capable and wanted to chase his dreams. But there was one thing that had permanent and stronger impact on his personality than his natural attributes and that was the cross border terrorism. At so young age, he had already seen some terrifying and horrible incidents, with his naked eyes that had suppressed him as a person.


I know, we all can relate to the boy in third para above but hard to connect with other two. But the facts hold ground in first two cases too. Our generation is too occupied with so many things in our life that hardly we stop to think the changes in and around us. By the time we realise the changes, we have already missed the train. Whenever we hear the word “terrorism”, our imagination travels to the Border, we share with our neighbour countries. We think of armed people spreading terror in society for various reasons that seems justified to them only. Hardly, we thought about the civilian terrorism that has become a part of majority of our lives. I have coined it “the civilian terrorism”. Though un-intentional, this type of terrorism has spread its way in our normal lives and we have started taking it pre-approved.


A child, in home, is restrained from doing so many things that s/he always is eager to. The child’s mother or father or sister or brother or anyone in family puts these restrain tactfully but some times forcefully and violently too. This violent restraint on the child’s activities imbibes a seed of fear in him/her. He started feeling scared of the family member who did it and if continued for long, gradually turns into terror for him. The child will never be the same for that family member and try to avoid. It may dent the child’s over all development permanently. We face many people in our social circle be it friends, family members or in office, who consistently dominate us or harass us though unintentionally. Some try to dominate with performance pressure, some with sheer indecent attitude and both fills us with insecurity. Some of us are naturally capable to tackle this but rest of us just couldn’t do it. They start feeling the heat and instead of taking it out with some one, a sense of a fear or feeling of being terrorised starts to sink in. This unwarranted domination or civilian terrorism eats from inside and make the person sans his personality. Agreed that civilian terrorists are very few in everyone’s life but then even one is enough. Recently, four terrorists attacked in Army Base Camp, Samba which was around 65 Kms from my residence. Though they were killed with in 12 hours but the terror they have succeeded to plant in can still be seen on streets in forms of lesser traffic, more police nakas and enhanced Army drives. If four people can do this to over 10 lakhs people, imagine one or two around you.


I know, some of you may not agree with what I said above but this is a truth that doesn’t need any evidences or recognition but a thought. Women in particular are familiar to this type of terrorism as they face it more frequently than their male counter-parts. I know a girl who is so scared of going in public places. She doesn’t go out with friends and family. She tries to get everything at home. She has confined herself to her brick-built surroundings. The fear is not because she doesn’t want to do. Even she wants to live a normal youth life. Through out her life, she had been to top educational institutes and even worked for an NGO for some time. But few years into service and she gave up. According to her, she was fed up with constant stalking and un-warranted comments that had become a part of her life. Once or twice she had experienced events that forced her to lose all hope. It slowly started terrorising her and she could not take it head on. Finally, the fear took over her and the best way out for her, she thought, was to come back and stay at home only. Is this a solution?

The terrorism, literally means “the deliberate commission of an act of violence to create an emotional response through the suffering of the victims in the furtherance of a political or social agenda”. What we do to others or are experiencing is none less than terrorism. The only difference is that cross border terrorism or violent terrorism is being taking care of by our armed forces. This civilian terrorism results in more casualties in the form of suicides/depression and brain drain too, to some extent. This civilian terrorism, I am talking about, has to be handled by us only. While on one side we should keep in mind that we do not dominate or control or dictate or harass someone un-necessarily and on the other, if some one is doing it to us, we do not bog down to it in solace. This kind of un-intentional and non-justified civilian terrorism needs to be wiped out to create a healthy environment where every individual can grow as an “Individual” and not reduce to a by-product of reproduction only.

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Posted by on December 24, 2013 in Uncategorized


An Obsession- For Granted!!

I remember the days when I dreamed of donning an army uniform, firing bullets at enemies, dropping bombs and sacrificing my life for my country. I, just like any other kid capable of thinking right, was obsessed with Army and even tried twice to get into the profession. Another reason was the loads of respect that this profession fetches, automatically indeed, from the society. Every human being in army uniform guarantees security and safety and is greeted everywhere in best possible way. No doubt, it is still the most esteemed profession even today when in some fields like finance and marketing, earnings of some individuals are bye-passing the turn over of some companies! Every time a casualty is reported, entire nation stands united for a cause that is just. Entire nation share the grief stricken family’s sorrows. Every one is ready to help in every way possible. And why shouldn’t? We know that when they perform their duty, they mean it.


Performing own duty in the most sincere way is almost everyone’s effort. If this is the case, why are we so obsessed with defence personals only?


Figure out this; A security guard outside an ATM machine or in parking area or at the society gate or that of a bank lives dangerously while performing his duties. In my view, to some extent they face more danger than those well equipped with firearms and licensed to use them. They are absolutely blank when it comes to suspicion/identification of their would-be-assaulters. They are paid to the minimum extent possible. They do not enjoy any dignity in society. Even after such hardships, they continue to do risky jobs of protecting our material assets which are rapidly gaining importance these days. Add to this small disputes/confrontation with public, here and there.


Is this obsession with uniformed personals an informed one or we are obsessed for the sake of it? Is it because men in uniform carry responsibility of our lives and freedom? If this is the case, coming generations would be obsessed by other people doing risky jobs to safeguard their hard earned money because slowly, the wealth is getting priority over our lives. Isn’t it for the blind obsession that Yuvraj Singh, well capable of paying for his cancer treatment, was helped by people all around but most of us back when it comes to lending a helping hand to people who actually need them? Nothing taking away from the defence personals doing wonderful job, I just wonder if lop-sided obsession is justifiable for a generation that questions everything, almost.

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Posted by on December 24, 2013 in Uncategorized


The Blu Planet…(When I Scuba Dived)

Everything around me went absolute silent as I sunk deeper into Indian Ocean. For first few hundred centimetres downwards, my right hand was holding the rope of boat just like my jaws were clinging onto the oxygen nozle placed inside my mouth. As if these two life lines were not enough to assure me, my left hand was searching desparately for my coach. In that little yet so huge part of Indian Ocean, my coach was the only specie I knew. The moment my coach held my hand to calm down my vibrating nerves, my right hand let go of the rope. It took few seconds more for the mind and heart to settle down as vibes of “I am here” were transferring from my coach’s hand to me.

It was my first take at Scuba diving. We drove down to the middle of the Indian Ocean and as the engine of the boat got killed, my coach jumped into the blue-green-black crystal clear water. It was deep enough to give me goosebumps. Since, my money was at stake, I had to do it come what may, I thought. My coach called me into the Blue Planet and as an obedient student, I boarded down the boat into the cold-yet-so-soothing water. The coach arranged my equipment on my back while various excited thoughts were flowing through my mind. Finally, few minutes after, the coach asked me to make a dip into the sea along the rope hanging from the boat. I glanced the world around me for one last time which was in liquid state everywhere.

As the coach and I went further deep into the water, I let go of his hand for few minutes. The moment I was all on my own, I felt like flying into the water. I felt so light irrespective of 4000 ltrs of oxygen cyclinder on my back, irrespective of the fact that my lungs are not customed to breath in water and irrespective of the fact hat I was not able to step my foot down on anything concrete to which I am addicted for my 28 years. It was a wonderful flying into the water. I had no tension of breathing as oxygen cyclinder on my back was working sincerely. I was excited enough to make my self swim into the sea, though I know nothing of swimming. All I had to do was go deeper and deeper, while equalizing my ears against the pressure and to enjoy a whole different world. It was so silent down there. My friend Navin Raina, rightly put it “silence of Death”. Only sound was of my breathing. No one down there makes noises. Being an calm extrovert, I always liked the kind of places where you are not forced to speak, talk or argue. Every little creature I saw, that varies from little finger sized fishes to big daddy of fishes to snakes to some unknown ones, was busy with their own little activities. They do not disturb you untill you do so. Going down by every metere increases pressure on your ears. So, its very necessary to equalize the pressure before going further. I was in awe of the beauty inside that everytime my ears had to remind me, of my exercise to do with a little pain. Though I was well inside 12-14 metres, every color was clear enough to make it a rich experience for me. The colors seemed to be water paints that nature has handcrafted. I, along with my coach explored some unknown territories too. On planet Earth, I had seen many waterfalls with little water falling in huge craters. Now, courtesy Scuba diving, I saw huge craters filled with water only. I travelled down the craters, into some big sized holes, played with fishes. The moment of the day was when I lied upside down in water and saw the filtered sun rays coming in to contribute to the already fascinating world under sea. I saw some 60 odd fishes marching between me and the surface. First time in my life I saw something flying above me other than birds. It was an awesome moment to realize that I was deeper than the fishes. I congratulated myself for being so courageous to beat fishes at their own home (water) ground.

I spent nearly 35-40 minutes and as my coach called it a day, I was already bagful of some beautiful, scary-at-times and unforgettable moments. I always dreamed scuba diving to be a wonderful experience and I am glad that it came true. It was mesmerizing to see that nature do not need human intervention to keep it gorgeous and ever charming.

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Posted by on June 4, 2013 in Uncategorized


When 3 is equal to 25!!

3 can not be equal to 25 as per some orthodox and complex theorems of Mathematics but the comlex-seemed-yet-so-simple situations in daily life made it seem so granted. When I have been allotted Ahmedabad as my first posting, I was scared and afraid of leaving Chandigarh, the City Beautiful. I was afraid of the whole new class of people, entirely different culture and all that stuff that I could think of,given that I have never stepped out of Chandigarh.


Chandigarh, a small and slow town. One need not hurry to reach destinations in the city. One may miss the usual hustle bustle of traffic. One may miss the liveliness of big metros but One surely won’t miss the vibrating culture, the dynamism of youth and steady growth towards becoming small sized metro. Coming from some big metros, One may miss the sprawling acres of shopping centres but the cheerful and outstandingly up-to date crowd compensates for them, which one may find in every hook and corner. I am leaving all this. So, I was scared.


Ahmedabad, not a metro but not less than a metro is a huge city with shadowy conservative culture. One may hear that the city is conservative, the people are conservative but the city has decades back, proved all this a sheer non-sense. It is as lively as Chandigarh, as beautiful as Chandigarh along with a tag of an ancient city.


I was not ready yet, I thought to join my posting in Ahmedabad. I had never been out of Chandigarh and never experienced the cultural shock. I was never very much into my own culture and this posting is going to burden me whole lot of other cultures. This is where Life proved that 3 can be equal to 25.


I joined Ahmedabad at the age of 25 and suddenly, whatever I learned or forced to learn in those 25 years becomes null. It has been 3 years now.

Law of likeness prevailed and groups were formed. My group, like every other group, varied in cultures, tastes, preferences and almost in everything. I observed how people of my age are so alive for their cultures, faiths, values, rituals, their life beyond them and their life ahead of them. I felt neglected but at the same time felt determined too to catch up with them. Being in so varied company, I helped myself exploring my life that has already been registered somewhere, somehow, in history books. I found that deficiencies in one can not only be related to vitamins or proteins but to some traits and qualities too. Every day I found my self struggling with the hard truths that I know very less about my identity which includes me, my culture, my values and my desires.

It was this amazing herd of people around me that helped me nourished myself. I believe this diversity is one strong glue that helped all of us stick together in initial times. One benefit of having diverse people around you is that you get time to learn loads of things as others would be busy in doing so too, provided you are ready to.


As I started to learn about many things that happen at various places in India, in various cultures, I started finding my own identity, my own culture. I started feeling proud of my background, my cultural roots and started respecting it as much as I do others now. This happened in 3 years’ time. The journey is not over yet but as the life came to a halt for some time, I found an opportunity to look behind.


It is very necessary to throw yourself to completely unknown grounds to expand the aura of Life around you which has otherwise very limited fragrances. A Punjabi may never know the true essence of being calling himself a hard core Non-vegetarian unless he meets some Bengali. The pace of life increases manifold when you face completely new situations as it did for me. Believe me guys, with variety of “masalas”, the taste only gets better.

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Posted by on January 27, 2013 in Uncategorized


Then and Now…

One day some one asked me “ how is life going on, buddy?” And I replied “As usual boring” Although the call dropped few minutes later but I did not drop the issue. How did I manage to say as usual? Was it always boring? If yes, why and if not, why is it now? On the very first insight into my past days, I got my first answer that it was not always. So when and how did it happen to be boring. I went ahead with second round of investigation and started comparing the life I had spent and spending now.

At some moments, I realised I found the answer but then I found myself deserted again. Now, there are no more Camals pressing (although at irritating speed) the fact that he has never lived among average people (pin-pointing me), no more Shekhars, gulping the amazing foot-longs of Sub-way in two takes only, no more Anujs taking classes at Bulls-eye asking future managers to be sincere in attending classes (when he used to bunk three classes of his UBS course to take that one MBA class at Bulls eye), no more Jasmeets who nearly took it to the Book of World records when he claimed he did 16 timing and no more Vireshs whose consistent replies were “I am playing table tennis at stu-c, idher hi aaja”, no more Navins who keeps on ditching time for time and again, no more Vikas who himself doesn’t know what he is arguing about, five minutes into the discussion. Whereas Bialas were always short of time in managing herd of girls around them, Jeevas used to spend all 8 hours of college days, slowly converted into weeks, then months and finally years,  on a plastic chair out side canteen and in the mean time Brars did everything in hostel room, almost everything. there are no more Adityas around who say” Dude, just do it! Why is it not possible?” to kick that snoozing gut inside you.

Now, absence of all those guys created presence of boredom in life. Is it? Really? The life has travelled from text messages on phones to humongous piles of note-sheets, reports, files and everything you can think of in ancient Govt. Buildings. The co-passengers of the journey have changed from crazy minds to stable ones, career oriented to situation oriented, eve teasers to ego teasers, from we to I and from cunning to shrewd but I remaining the same. Is this one reason that even after 15 months into service I couldn’t come to terms with it?

As I tried to explore more, more bamboozled I am. Was that time more enjoyable or this one remembering those? And if we ever possessed those magic moments, why can’t we create them again? Is it because we are no more capable of doing so or we don’t want to? But at the age of mid-twenties, none of us would want to admit that we are not capable of anything and that left us with the lack of desirability of doing things now. Somehow, I couldn’t stop myself scanning the moments we had lived to find that one moment when we lost the zeal of living the same, in fact ourselves, again. And as expected, couldn’t find that one moment in midst of millions of those moments.

Some would argue it’s because of shortage of time, devastating work load, increasing geographical distances and lack of availability of all at one given time. But I believe, these reasons have been generated only because our vocabulary has improved and we got to know how simple thing, I just don’t want to do it, can be said in numerous ways.

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Posted by on January 27, 2013 in Uncategorized


‘I’ for Indian!

The other day one of my dear friend said “Dude, Life is amazing out there! Rocking weekends, fun rides and boozing. What we have here? We are not living here boy, we are just passing it out. Nothing else. Its not fun here. I am not liking it at all. I want to settle in that heaven.” He declared. It amazed me so much. Just imagine this whole world a big society wherein every block of flats are developed according to the various needs of its mates. There are some ultra luxurious flats (Developed Nations) and then there are some really low-cost flats (least developing Nations) too. Now, if I there is a leakage in my house, why should I go to someone else’s home for shelter rather than repairing problems in my home. Similarly, I did not like his decision too so couldn’t resist asking him “What is so fun there?” He said “The life there is free of liabilities, individuals are respected. They are fun loving people who do not worry about future and spend as if there is no tomorrow. They don’t waste their lives for their children’s future. They go for hiking, skydiving, rafting and do all the fun in the world. What you do is being appreciated and there is a sense of achievement.”

The last word in his sincere devastation of my country’s (which is his country too) culture caught my attention. He was spot on when he mentioned Achievement. This is one thing we all are striving for. Studying thoroughly for a child is important. But marks scored give him/her a sense of achievement. Any pay package can help you survive but hefty take-home amount gives you that extra sense of achievement. So, according to him, people abroad achieve more as compared to here. Is this true?

One incident describes almost everything about my country. One simple guy, un-known to everyone, one fine day won a whooping INR 2 Crores in a game show. Not only he but every one in the country was as excited as his own family member. Numerous eyes become wet. This news that one of us has made it Big has given all of us a sense of achievement. Individualism is not my cup of tea and hence I reject it outright as an attraction. I like being in family, I like being among friends. I like it when I do something, how little it is, if there are people around to clap for it. What is the fun for a child if s/he is celebrating his birthdays, year after year with parents only? I do not appreciate anyone who is fending for himself. Are our achievements meaner than their? Compare it with the sports. It is difficult for a leader or captain to manage a team of extra-ordinary players as compared to people to manage themselves in individual sports. And when the team wins, the excitement is nowhere comparable and reaches to the next world. The phenomenon of “Joy of Giving” can only be understood by detaching it from individualism.

As a new life takes wings in my country, the expectations take birth too. To live a life when you know you are doing it for a world around you, gives you a sense of achievement, on achieving. When I become successful in pulling off a time-out plan with huge friend circle, it gives me immense pleasure and sense of achievement. When I marry someone, I take proud in living into a relation with someone for a life time and upon doing it, I feel sense of achievement. I get kids and I start living my life fully devoted to their dreams so that one day, they live our dream too. When they do it, I feel a sense of achievement. Whatever is passed upon me by ancestors and I pass them on to coming generation, I feel a sense of achievement. I do it all here in my home and hence I do not feel a sense of achievement in living life else where.

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Posted by on June 8, 2012 in Uncategorized


Re-ligion aka Re-Connect

The heading above might have got a passing by look from many of you because we feel so familiar with this right from our childhood. Even I thought so until the day I googled for its exact meaning. It said a set of beliefs, faith and values, something in the periphery of culture. I wondered if this is what it means, why these set of values or faith keeps on changing from one generation to another. My paternal grandfather was a firm believer in God whereas my father is not and I stand somewhere between them. If we belong to same religion, why is there any difference?

For me, gross misconceptions and self-interpretations take birth as people try to with hold their so called ancestral religion. Numerous do’s and don’ts are carried upon from one generation to another but in their own comfortable manner. Some beliefs, faiths that do not stand the test of compatibility with the new generation get lost somewhere in the desert of time. Ours is the most unfortunate generation because we are evolving, proceeding forward and getting rid off of many myths-termed-beliefs. And as we are enlightening ourselves, few doubts still remain and that adds more confusion to what exactly my religion is. Example why we can’t accept that women are at par with men when we accept that men always turn to women whenever need arises, which is very frequent. The carrying responsibility of religion is slowly becoming liability for many of us. Many of us are doing it gracefully, many just not capable of carrying it along and most of us do not know if we want to do it or not, which is most unfortunate. We are consistently told what not to do in our religion and in the process we are forgetting the purest form of one and all religions. We forget that every religion asks for love and not hate, for acceptance not rejection, for society not personal. There are only two things that differentiate one religion from another. One, language and second, route to God. Every religion has different ways or routes to reach The Supreme but those routes do not make any religion superior or inferior. It is just like reaching to a geographical destination through various roads and every one has a choice to select his road. Different religion shows the two set of values and faith. One is as faithful in God as is other but we have made religion a benchmark, a border that keeps people from other religion at bay. Why?

If my religion is so pure that connects me to God, other religion gives me just another chance or route to connect with God. Then where is the problem?

People from one religion are so hard followers that they hardly follow their religion. The eyebrows get a lift if one of us marries to someone not from our religion, doubts fill in when we see someone from some particular religion, and some reach to the extent of killing their own people if they do not follow their religion properly. What for? Is it really the route that any religion in this world, teaches?

The answer lies within us somewhere. We satisfy our inner egos sometime in the name of religion, we satisfy the demands of the society we live in the name of religion, we take our anger out in the name of religion but we do not connect to God while doing all this, for sure. The reason why we are not connected is that while doing all this we have one thing in mind, what the people will say? We are the reasons for this rather confusedly defined religion because either we have not adopted it well or we are distorting it to our own comforts to set it in the changing definition of life just like our ancestors have done it for years now. Development causes the way of living to change and hence changes many things attached to it. Religion is one of them. Earlier, taking a dip at Holy Gangariver was supposed to be sacred and a compulsory exercise on the occasion of Makkar-Sakranti. As time changed, we got busy with the new mantra of development, it was accepted that taking bath is necessary on that day, no matter where you take that. This is just an example of how we accept religion according to our comfort. And as the time has travelled, so have we far from the original essence of religion.

Just for a thought, re-ligion, literally means to re-connect. When you ask people, they will hesitate in admitting that they don’t know their exact religion. They might know the bracket (Hindu, Christian, Sikh, Islam) in which they fall but might not be aware of what exactly does it mean. I am not a student of religion by any means but I know there would be few things, for sure, in every sacred gospel of every religion viz. to live your own life without interfering with others’, to keep faith in The Supreme, no religion is inferior. I still don’t know what prompted all those honour killers, all those people who thinks marrying in other religion is not acceptable, who thinks that their own religion is supreme and true.

One thing I know is that there are two things to choose from. One, there should be one religion called humanity which entails all human beings in any corner of this world, equally. Second, still if someone thinks s/he has their own particular religion to follow, live your own life and do not force it to others.

Like any other climate problems, we are facing the problem of loosing our real set of faith, values and cultures in order to accept our pre-defined faith, values and culture. I wonder who so ever coined this term, religion, must be a great thinker and have thought millions of years ahead of his/her times and that is why it is termed as re-ligion and ligion because s/he knew we need to re connect time and again. So, its time to re-ligion!

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Posted by on June 5, 2012 in Uncategorized


We or Them!!!!!!!

Evening One

One fine evening I was returning from office. My residence is about 15 Kms from the office and it takes me quite a strenuous driving of 25 minutes to commute. Along my route, I had to cross one of the busiest roads in the city and like me every one is using the road that makes it a difficult task. On that day as I was about to cross a crossroad in that road, a traffic policeman stopped right in mid of the road and needle in my speedometer plunged in a fraction of second. I came to sudden halt along with many other vehicles, light or heavy, around me. The vehicles stopped, the never-ending honking started. That single policeman was taking it all alone and doing his duty responsibly, I thought. One of us lost his patience, spit the tobacco and asked the police man “Why the hell did you stop us?” he asked in a voice that clearly demeaned the man in uniform, the Law enforcer. He said “ Chief Minister is about to cross from here” As he completed his sentence, the honking stopped and everyone started waiting patiently. Another 2-3 minutes passed, no body said anything. The policeman was consistently on his walkie-talkie using it as an old-mannered GPS system. He switched off his walkie-talkie few seconds later, got straight, got his, otherwise slack, body tight. We all came to know that HE is coming. A caravan came and crossed us in a matter of 4-5 seconds. The police man gave some final instructions on walkie-talkie and placed it back where it spends most of its life time, in back pocket. He stepped back and the usual hustle bustle of traffic continued. The policeman did his duty responsibly, none of us moved a bit and proved to be good citizens. And there was a happy ending.

Evening Two

On another fine evening, I was returning home from a routine day at office. It was the same road, the busiest one. I was approaching the same crossroad. The traffic was at its normal density, the maximum. As I was few hundred meters away from the spot where few days ago, where the man in uniform knew his duty and performed it most sincerely, I saw some hook up of traffic due to some not-so-intelligent drivers. Everyone wanted to cross from left to right, right to left and before others. In the due course, everyone blocked way for most of the traffic and in a road of 120 mts. wide, traffic was going through a small opening of 30 mts. or so. Everyone was getting furious over the situation as everyone was in hurry to reach home quickly. In the meanwhile, ambulance roared from my back and zipped across me. I saw a blue light was flashing on top of a van that contained some really dimmed faces in the back. The situation was as clear as black and white that the patient is very close to them and to death too. The traffic congestion did not allow the Ambulance to go at the required velocity. Some opportunistic people, here too, kept their vehicle in just front and back of ambulance to make their own way in wake of Ambulance which in process kept it from moving freely. Finally, it came to a halt at the crossroad amidst the traffic and couldn’t move forward. The same man in uniform was standing just on the left most corner of the footpath under the shadow of tree and was talking on improved version of walkie-talkie, mobile. He was smiling, laughing, making funny gestures that showed he was off duty during his working hours. This time another man in uniform was performing his duty sincerely, the ambulance driver. He was blowing the siren and horn continuously in order to make people aware of the hopeless situation. But the collective sounds from other vehicles murdered any sound that was coming from the ambulance. Almost 4 minutes passed away and no body cared about the ambulance stuck in the traffic crying loudly for a way. I stopped my bike sideways as I lost hope of getting a way for my bike, let alone the van. Further few minutes passed and the lights of the ambulance came to a halt. The road opened up but the ambulance did not. It just lost a life and purpose to go ahead. Everything else was moving but for insiders, everything came to a halt. The policeman hung up his call and helped Ambulance to park at the side of the road.


These two instances showed the impact accountability can have on performing a duty. While in first case, the policeman knew he would be responsible for any “mis-happening” when CM was passing so he did it most sincerely. On second occasion, since no one was accountable so no one performed it that cost us a life. But the “credit” should also go to hypocrite environment we have developed over the years. Millions of Crores of Rupees are spent on the security of politicians and VVIPs whose life or death does not matter to a common man while millions in this country go without basic health amenities. Investment in crores is made in making one NSG commando only to walk in front or behind of those 70 years old bodies called active politicians. We are happy to lose our soldiers in naxalite areas without fighting but we are not able to use our much-praised Air Force as that will be against human rights. Either those raising human rights issues are very powerful or the soldiers loosing their life are not human at all. This is not confined to politicians or VVIPs but in every sphere of life. In a class, that boy/girl rules that has some link ups with the faculty, in a department that colleague rules which has a say in higher management. This virtual power of domination is not demanded by these people but given voluntarily and un-intentionally by us. If we try to find out, its roots spreads way down in history too.

This is the state in our country for which we all are responsible. We made them, we allowed them to treat us this way and when they treat us this way, we bitch them for it. Why do we need someone always to lead us, to dominate us. We need to stop dominating ourselves or we will be losing more of us in coming days and who knows, next time I would be the one in that fateful ambulance.

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Posted by on April 10, 2012 in Uncategorized


A Date to Remember!!!!

“Ok! Catch you there in 7 minutes” I said and started getting ready for the pick up point for yet another date. I was always used to be like that only, too precise, too exact in Time matters. 7 minutes to me mean anything below 6 minutes and 59 seconds. I declared 7 minutes because I know my bike, My bike knows the road. So, I took off in an eye blink for the destination, or I should say transit destination. I was hoping, she might get punctual this time. But as Nature keeps on realizing you that there is universal law of equilibrium which holds not only in science but way beyond it too. So, for her, 7 minutes starts after she gets free from so-exhausting exercise of applying so many powders, creams, lip-gloss, eye-liners clubbed into one word, make-up. I believe because of this make-up, girls generally forget to make-up for the time lapsed in this not-for-profit exercise. Anyways, I waited there as usual for another 17 minutes, after those pre-decided 7 minutes. Among number of buses that passed by me, as soon as her bus came, there was something inside that clicked. It is one of those times when your intuitions or sixth sense works at peak. She got down from the bus and yes, as always she was looking stunningly beautiful which proves that hard work, in make-up, never goes unrewarded. She took the back seat on my bike (of course, because there is no third seat) and we took off for our destination. Although my bike is quite old and makes infinite sounds of unknown frequencies but whenever she places herself on it, it sails swiftly as a ship in a water and obey like a little kid. That makes me love my bike even more because it knows when to perform.

We reached our destination. Do not ask the details about it because it has nothing to describe about. I would only say that its a tea shop in a condition which generally, couples avoid but due to its not-reachable situation, we made it our destination. It was 3 in the noon and we thought we have plenty of time today. Winter waves were dancing in and around our physical limits and encouraging us to have one more (we already had 3 cups) cup of tea. The clouds were there in huge number to witness our yet another date. The discussions kept on changing tracks from Love to Society to family. From no where, priorities come in. And that changed the course of the day afterwards. Even though we both are not habitual debaters still somehow, the discussion got hot, I don’t know how. More I tried to pacify things, more heat came out. Finally, after a struggle of trying to stamp our authority over another for almost 90 minutes, we stopped talking to each other. Another 20 minutes lapsed and I decided to get back home as there is no purpose in sitting mute on a Date. We came back from what was going to be an awesome time out to a real embarrassing date.

Nobody talked on bike, neither she nor me not even my bike. We covered 12 Kms yet no sound of anyone sitting at my back. It was another 3 Kms to go for her dropping point when the Almighty decided to interfere. He interfered through rain which made us stop on our way. As the minutes were passing by slowly so the rain was dropping by heavier. We did not talk yet. It was as if two complete strangers were standing close to each other. It is one of those moments when you really think of giving up in a relationship. It is one of those moments when you really someone among you to hold on for that one extra moment.

She did it. She finally let go some words from her lips which were sealed as if forever. She pointed towards a Chinese tuck shop and asked for noodles. I saw at her and second eye saw the noodles shop. She does not like eating at street shops but here she is offering herself to have a go at it. I have always been a fan of it because it solves the purpose of tucking your tummy at a very reasonable rates. So, how could I let go this offer, I moved my head vertically. We rushed towards the street on the opposite side of the road. The tables were vacant as if waiting for us only. We took the corner table, continuing the legacy of love birds taking the corner seat, I still don’t know why. Anyways, as soon we placed ourselves on wooden chairs  gherao-ed by shining but weak steel looking metal. Due to enhanced version of dispute we just had, we were not making eye contact with each other. Meanwhile, a boy with innocent looks came to hand us over a card purposed to shell out money from customer’s pocket but named sophisticated as “Menu”. Although, he handed it over to me but I don’t know how it landed in her hands. Girls have this capability of snatching things from you unknowingly, don’t they? She snatched, she skimmed and she ordered one noodles in one moment proving how famished she is after burning some good amount of calories on me few minutes back. My lips were still halted at the same place. I did not talk at all showing my real dis consent with the argument we had before. As we were waiting for rain to stop, noodles arrived right in between. I was in no mood to eat but as she picked her fork to have that first mover advantage, I too started moving my fork into the bowl only. She picked some noodles with fork and started moving her hand up. I was still very upset on the Date. As I was arguing myself what went wrong, I found her hand moving towards me to have that first grab. I didn’t know, when my lips disobeyed me, opened up and when I was relishing the taste of love in the form of noodles. I thought, silence has great power. What I could not have achieved with arguing with a girl, silence did. That an adoring act from her melted everything between us and we were back to normal loving couple. We had those fortunate noodles and went back to the bike which was looking afresh, I didn’t know if it was because of rain or my bike loves to see us together, We decided to go to our favorite tea spot once again and enjoy tea in rain. My bike wanted it too so it got started in first kick itself. It was time when everything around started to diminish a bit, rain was still coming down heavily as if to ruin our Date. We had tea again in open while the rain keep finding place in our cups.

The tea was doing just a relaxing exercise for us in those chilly winter evenings. We were not having proper warmers so were trembling badly. We decided to move back to our respective homes. I had to kick my bike thrice before it started as I believe my bike was not in a mood yet to separate from her. Somehow, we started covering those 12 Kms back to dropping point and with every meter covered, rain drops were getting heavier and heavier. I feared of any damage to my bike because of this torrential rain because we were about 12 Kms from the city and in case my bike goes down, we would have no alternative to reach back. But as always, my bike responded well and we entered the city. We both had time with us to spend some more beautiful moments with each other but the cold was getting better of us. As we were passing through the market, the rain broke loose. I guess it was its final attempt to ruin our day. We both kept talking to each other and I told her that it is becoming almost impossible for me to see through. I was wishing from inside that we may get more moments to spend. Once again, my bike came to my rescue and came to sudden halt. She got scared and me too, partially. As I checked my bike, it was alright and I thought it clicked one indicator as if it winked. I got the signal. After a while when it did not start, we decided to wait for while and grab a cappuccino at CCD which was inviting us whole-heartily. The chillness was getting into our bones but the warmth of the relation was keeping us afloat.

Together, we entered CCD, which it seemed welcomed us only that evening as the hosts were busy playing something on their system. We were drenched, we were unable to walk, we were unable to stand even. The emptiness of the cafe had increased the impact of 5 split ACs working in not-required weather. Anyhow, we managed to sit in the middle of the cafe and just as if everything was written that day, as soon as our butts made contact with chairs, the power connection lost its contact with supply and everything went dark just like outside. The chillness remained inside cafe and the waiter walked to us for the order and lit one candle in pink color (her favorite). As planned or obvious, we ordered two super hot cappuccinos with as hot brownie. Luckily, the kitchen equipment was linked to inverter, so the microwave was working. They took some time to get our order placed but once they did it, believe me guys! it made an evening of my life. Steaming brownie, with super hot coffee was a blessing for our chilled bodies. As the brownie started taking place inside, the coffee started flowing down the throat, the feelings for each other started melting and started making their way out. Next half an hour or so witnessed some real confessions, romantic as well as emotional between us. We sat there for around one hour. We were overwhelmed by the day, by the flow of the things that day. It was like a pre-written script of some movie. As soon we got up and paid our bill, the power came back and not only it lighted the entire cafe but enlightened our relation too. The rain stopped suddenly, my bike got started on first kick, I dropped her on time and we reached from where we started just in time.

It was a day I wanted to make special and somehow, different things, unseen forces made it a special for both of us. We had sumptuous dinner or lunches even before too but none came closer to what we experienced that day. It was a date short on words but most of the things we wanted to hear, to tell were expressed straight from heart.

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Posted by on March 27, 2012 in Uncategorized